edensgarden's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This was written when I was in a bad mood, really bad mood! Take no prisoners... There will be no more mercy with my seniors. My freshmen write better, behave better, and are more pleasant company. I never thought I�d hear myself say that, but I am, and I mean it. Needless to say, there will probably be some very unhappy campers over the break. I hope they all get grounded and have to do hard labor on the rock pile, for the bad grades THEY EARNED. Ya, it�s so cool to be apathetic. Well have fun later in life, when you find out that it�s not all about fun and games. Boogers. I�m in a bad mood, I�ll stop now before I go on... I had my evaluation follow-up with my principal today. She asked me if I felt that I was a good teacher. As tears welled up in my eyes, I just nodded no. I don�t feel that I am effective. I just feel that most days I�m just coping and just teaching to get through the material. But, on the other hand, I know that I am meticulous in my planning and I am always prepared, to the sacrifice of my own wants and personal desires. Eden thinks to herself: I need to find balance, where? I don�t know. I�m too emotional, what about that? Grrr! Things were better before Lev, at least then I had a good handle on my emotions and had a good grip on stoicism, well in public at least. Control, I want to be in control again. Back to the subject... The principal said I�m one of the best first year teachers she�s ever had. I believe her, but I don�t agree with her. Does that make sense? I am an �ber-perfectionist; I guess I�ll never be satisfied with things, myself or what I am doing, till it�s all the way I think it should be in my perfect little universe. That�s a rather elitist attitude don�t I think? Yes. But do I care tonight? No. At least I fit into my skinny jeans and look better now that I have in a long time. My hair is at my shoulders again, and is nice and straight. I�m so vain.... Back to grading the potato head essays....I�m still in a bad mood. Sorry kids if I take it out on your essays. 9:00 p.m. - October 01, 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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