edensgarden's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Indicicative of the road ahead If I could only get into that corner of your head where things finally match and meet the standards that you set. Oh how I wish I was the treasure that you were looking for. I would feel better if I could only find the door. I am crying, and aren�t you trying? I am melting away. I wait for the words on the tip of your tongue, and I�m only as good as the last one. You decided and I abide as my song goes unsung. I went back and re-read some of my entries tonight. Oh, my, what a year and a half it�s been. Go back and re-read your own diary. One word: perspective. One more word: laughs. Here are some of my favorites: My ebb and flow. ***** Big event of the weekend. My dad�s van was stolen. He was down at the office on Friday night, against my better advice. He heard a car start about 8pm and didn�t think anything of it. When we went to leave about and hour later, he realized that it was his car that he heard starting. My question was, �Who would want to steal the Trash Wagon?� I mean, that van has been all over the country, and on so many boy-scout hikes it�s crusty to say the least! Drunken teenagers, space aliens? Update: we just got word that the van was recovered, intact and relatively unhurt. Good, but I still wonder who would steal the Trash Wagon. ***** I kept myself busy this weekend. It was good and it was hard all at the same time. Saturday, I slept in. I relished every minute past 4:30 am that I slept. It was bliss. I still could have slept longer, but my restful slumber was interrupted by the pounding of a migraine. God bless Imitrex. ***** Toast was down this weekend. We went to the mall. Two words: Retail Therapy. I spent a lot of money. I own many new CDs, clothes and a new printer. I�ll say this about the printer. I will never stray from HP again. EVER. My new printer is quiet, nice and an HP. But about the printer; it takes 2 ink cartridges, they only included one in the box. That�s nice at 10:30 pm on a Saturday night, with me in my pj�s not interested in going out. So, that�s on the list for Monday. I also found my red sofa. I didn�t buy it, but I will soon. I don�t know where I�ll put it. But I want it. It�s red, so red. ***** Sunday my cousin blessed his baby in church. It was a beautiful experience to see this precious baby in his arms as he presented her to the membership and gave her, her name. I don�t know if I can say right now truthfully that I want one of my own. I mean, I do one day, but to see his joy and feel the wonderful spirit there in the room was enough for me. Jeri, his sister came down. I�ve not seen Jeri in about 2 months. We slipped out the back of the chapel and sat in the front lobby and talked for the rest of the service. Yes, we are bad. She is such a blessing in my life. We are the same age, and are very close. Delve deep into my life. Dig deep into the secrets and the things that make me tick. I have always been able to tell her what is in my heart without fear of judgment. I talked, she listened. Later at home we were all having a family lunch. There were no places to sit, so we sat on the stairs, just like children and continued to talk. It reminded me of our younger years. We were inseparable. I�m just sad she couldn�t stay longer. ***** Pancakes. A pancake dinner, which was the next family function. I was actually looking forward to this one. I don�t know why, I shouldn�t have enjoyed myself, but I did. This dinner was originally for Mr. Levski to meet and be met by all of us. He would have had a fun time. We went on with out him. Indicative of the road ahead of me. Reva came along and brought her violin. She played some toons, and we all danced a flag reel in the basement. We all had fun, the big kids, the little kids and the middle kids. Even the �ber-cool teenaged boys participated in the dance. ***** Tomorrow is Labor Day. What does this worker of the world plan to do? Labor, of course. I have lots to do. My life is about as unorganized as it can possibly be. It�s all about keeping my stress down. ***** I've mentioned that I am going to see my sister in October. I just found out that there is a bus that leaves every hour on the hour from Bethlehem to Linclon Center in New York City. I am taking that bus. I am finallaly going to NYC!! Words can't tell how excited I am! ***** This week, my recent return to single status, requires my return to the Thursday night meet and greet down at the church. I�m not going to meet people, I�m going to get used to being in large crowds again. It is nothing I look forward to. Maybe this time around, things will be better, different and permanent. Respect, of me and my weakness and strengths, honesty, fidelity, true friendship and keeping promises are all I want. Oh, and someone who can dance with me, and won�t mind when I need to sing. Just a day, just an ordinary day, just trying to get by. Just a boy, just an ordinary boy, but he was looking to the sky and as he asked if I would come along, I started to realize that everyday he found what he was looking for, and like a shooting star he shines and he said, �Take my hand, live while you can, don�t you see your dreams lie right in the palm of your hand. Just a dream, just an ordinary dream as I wake in bed. And that boy, that ordinary boy was it all in my head? Didn�t he ask if I would come along? It all seemed so real, but as I looked to the door I saw that boy standing there and he was looking to the sky. 11:21 p.m. - September 01, 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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