edensgarden's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What should have been, but there is always the cello. So much going on these last few days, my head is spinning, and my stomach is flipping. I just want to take a really long nap, oh wait, that�s what I have been doing every afternoon this week. I did a two day stint in Junior High Orchestra. While there I remembered the reason I quit the violin. Violinists are high strung and full of themselves. They think they own the orchestra! I always wanted to play the cello; I still love the cello most. ***Eden thinks to herself: �Maybe I could find a nice cello to move in with, then all of my angst and anxieties would go away. Ya, and you don�t have to feed a cello, or pick up after it, or even talk to it if you don�t want. But then again, the cello really doesn�t love back."*** It was a good run over all, only one girl pulled an attitude. The students asked me if I could come back and be their regular teacher. Apparently the regular teacher yells a lot and tells them they suck. Bad form if you ask me. What is the point of yelling and screaming? They are just 12 year olds; one must expect that they are going to be annoying and bothersome. ============================================== The only other thing that I need to say today is that it is April 13th. Today should have been my wedding day. How do I feel about it? I don�t know, it�s a very mixed bag. On the one hand, I know that eventually I would have been unhappy with Bryan. The day that I finally accepted that fact was a liberation day in a way. On the other hand, I do miss him dreadfully from time to time. But I�m happy to say, that those times are fewer and further in between. I did manage to throw away all of the letters that I sent to him over the course of our relationship. This is a big step. Now if I can just get rid of his letters to me, I know that I�ll be doing well. While I�m in this purging frame of mind, I think I�ll clean out my closet and donate to charity. That will make me feel better. 12:03 p.m. - April 13, 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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