edensgarden's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Like a Thief in the night... How do you feel today? How do I feel today? I am not looking forward to this week. We will have a funeral for my Uncle who is dying of MS, before the week is out. Last night, I went over to the house to see my family and to try and say good-bye. I couldn't even walk in the room where he lay. It's too hard. I can't see the machines with out crying. I could only volunteer to grade one of the teenager's English papers, that's all I could do to help the situation. From the doorway of the sick room, all I could see were his skinny legs. They used to be healthy legs; they used to chase me around the back yard when I was a child. Now they are ravaged by MS, this killer, this thief. Uncle is not the first to die of MS in our family. Five years ago Auntie, his sister, died of MS too. Her daughter has MS, as does my maternal grandmother. Why has MS decided to visit my family permanently? I just wonder who will be its next victim? Take me, I have just me to think about, no kids to raise, to husband to take care of. I don't fear death. For Uncle, death will be a welcome relief. Death will free him from the body that doesn't work anymore. Death is something that you live through. I worry about my Dad, his sister, and their Brother; they have taken care of Uncle for these past 5 years. They took care of Grandfather as he lay dying 2 years ago. Will they lose their sense of purpose? How will they cope? My sister and I are singing at the Funeral. I love singing with my sister, what will we sing? Everyone will be in town, I love my cousins, and funerals really are the only time we all see each other. This is a fact that we always joke about. We've also come to the conclusion that all the really fun people in our family are in heaven. I often wonder if they look down on us during times like these. What do they think? Are we too sad? I hope not. 3:22 p.m. - October 22, 2001 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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