edensgarden's Diaryland Diary
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Quiet
The Day, next, what to do? How do I feel? What do I say? Where is my solace, where is my comfort? My heart is broken, open.
11:24 p.m., September 11, 2001. I turned the television and the radio off. There was silence, total silence. It was a welcome relief. I was on information overload, I couldn't hear any more, or see any more. I had no feeling left, all of the tears were gone. Earlier, I had rocked my small niece M-3 to sleep. She sat and stared up at me sucking her bottle. She just pointed to my eyes, my nose and my cheeks. All I could do was hold her and kiss her little face. "I love you, Coo-koo, don't forget that you are loved." War is never so ugly as when it must be explained to children, I am glad I did not have to explain the events to my niece.
As I crawled into bed, I opened up my Bible to the 23rd Psalm. "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures�" It was comforting, I read on until my eyes would not stay open any longer.
As I awoke this morning, I turned my radio back on. The same old news, the same people talking. The blow-dryer made it all go away. I'm still sick inside that somewhere in the world someone is cheering this event, that they are reveling in our misfortune.
I can be thankful, however, Bethy and Stacy are safe. Stacy was in Boston, but many of her friends were killed in the Towers. Bethy lives 10 blocks from what is being called "Ground Zero". Her National Guard Unit was put on active duty though last night. She, understandably, is very scared. Uncle Fred and his FEMA crew have been assigned to the Edison Building in New York City. He went to Oklahoma City after that incident, I'm sure this will be far worse and far more gruesome.
While talking with my mom last night, she commented that in one of the replays of the collapsing towers, the Statue of Liberty stood in the harbor, unharmed, unaffected. I think this is symbolic. Liberty will continue on, we will not be defeated. Secretary of State Colin Powell, in a press briefing today said, "Our spirits will not be broken." This is true, and is witnessed by the outpouring of blood donors, people at prayer services, and people talking, and expressing their love for one another. Right now I'm watching some rescue workers unfurl an American Flag on the roof of the Pentagon in support of our fallen brothers and sisters.
Something that Ms. Toast realized was that many of the airline victims were our same age or younger. She asked herself, and I ask this same question of myself, "Am I ready to die? Would I be ready if today was my last day?" I say yes, but I know that I really can't say that with all honesty of heart. My life is not perfect, but I'm happy, and I have so much more work to do on earth before I go home for good.
I liked what Lisa Tote said today, give her a read. Don't take for granted what little life we have. I still know in my heart though, we will come through this, because we are "One nation, under God, with liberty and Justice for all." Remember to say your prayers, kiss your kids, tell someone you love them, breath deeply, watch the sun set and be thankful. All for today~~Eden
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3:50 p.m. - September 12, 2001
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